A lie can sometimes be the first thing that comes to mind when your parents confront you with something. Take a quick second to think about what you want to say when that happens. Fun fact: according to one study, telling the truth may actually make you a happier and healthier person! People who told fewer lies felt less moody and actually felt better physically. So lying may literally be bad for you. [2] X Trustworthy Source American Psychological Association Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists Go to source
For instance, if you did poorly on a math test and your parents ask you how it went, remember a time where lying about your grades got you grounded. If you lie about going to a party, you could get grounded, right? It’s not worth it! Some lies may actually be counter-productive. For example, if you lie about being bullied or picked on, your parents won’t know that you’re struggling with something. They may be able to help you if you tell them the truth.
If you wanted to go to a friend’s house, you might be tempted to lie and say their parents are home when they aren’t. But if you lie and get caught, you may not be able to go to your friend’s for a long time. You could also be tempted to lie and say you’re doing well in school even though you failed a math test so you can play your favorite video game. But it could end up getting you grounded for longer if you lie. You may also be tempted to lie about something more serious like someone hurting you at school. In that case, you may want to lie because you’re scared or embarrassed. But if you tell your parents what’s going on, they may be able to help you.
For instance, if you think your parents are too harsh on you about your grades, you could tell them that it makes you scared to tell them whenever you make a mistake at school or fail a test. You could also tell them that their punishments are too extreme and it makes you feel like it might be easier to just lie to them about where you are or what you’re doing. If you feel tempted to lie because you don’t think your parents will listen to your side of things, try telling them that. They may be more open to hearing you out if you’re more willing to tell them the truth. Your parents may ease up a bit and give you more freedom if you’re more honest with them.
That doesn’t mean you need to be brutally honest or mean to your friends. Just don’t be dishonest with them. For instance, if your friend asks you if you saw the game last night, don’t tell that you did if you really didn’t. Sure, it may seem harmless, but lying can easily become a habit.
Try being direct and keeping it simple. You could say, “Mom, I’m sorry, I lied to you earlier” or “Dad, I lied to you and I feel terrible about it. ” Once your parents realize that you’re being honest with them and you’re not hiding things, they’ll probably start to relax and trust you more. [9] X Expert Source Allen Wagner, MFT, MAMarriage & Family Therapist Expert Interview. 6 March 2019.
For instance, you could try yoga, meditation, or deep breathing exercises. You could also start hitting the gym or going on runs to get some healthy exercise that can lower your stress levels and make you feel better. If you feel overwhelmed with all of your responsibilities, try finding ways to better manage them (such as creating a schedule) or cutting out what you can. For instance, if your classes are tough, and you’re on both the basketball and the swim team, you may want to cut out basketball if you aren’t as passionate about it.
Try to come up with the reasons behind the lies. What was your motivation? How did a lie become a habit? Really explore what it is that makes you lie so you can better understand it and avoid doing it in the future.
