Makes careless mistakes, is inattentive to detail Has trouble paying attention (tasks, playing) Doesn’t seem to be paying attention when someone is talking to her or him Doesn’t follow through (homework, chores, jobs); easily sidetracked Is organizationally challenged Avoids tasks requiring sustained focus (like schoolwork) Can’t keep track of or often loses keys, glasses, papers, tools, etc. Is easily distracted Is forgetful
Fidgety, squirmy; taps hands or feet Feels restless, running or climbing inappropriately Struggles to play quietly/do quiet activities “On the go” as if “driven by a motor” Excessive talking Blurts out even before questions are asked Struggles to wait for their turn Interrupts others, inserts self into others’ discussions/games
If you are unsure of your child’s behavior, ask other adults and friends of your child. For example, your child’s friends, friends’ parents, teacher, or sports coach. Educators and childcare professionals might have more context for your child’s behavior because they have worked with so many children.
One-third of children with ADHD also have a behavioral disorder (conduct disorder, oppositional defiance disorder). [4] X Research source Why Is My Child’s ADHD Not Better Yet? Recognizing The Undiagnosed Secondary Conditions That May Be Affecting Your Child’s Treatment by David Gottlieb, Thomas Shoaf, and Risa Graff (2006). ADHD tends to pair up with learning disabilities and anxiety, too. [5] X Research source The ADHD Update: Understanding Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder by Alvin and Virginia Silverstein and Laura Silverstein Nunn (2008).
Have a whiteboard with the schedule for the day written down. Display it in the kitchen, living room, or somewhere else obvious. Displaying schedules and responsibilities in the house remind your kids what they have to do, and decrease their ability to say “I forgot. ”
Try imagine walking a high wire without a net for nine months and then all of a sudden, the wire snaps and you are plummeting toward the ground. That’s summer break for a child with ADHD: falling without a net in place. Try to remember where your child is coming from to empathize with their experience. You can try to grandfather in changes in the schedule. For example, if your child woke up at 7am during the school year, the first week of summer break wake up at 7:30am; the second week, 8am. The long-term scheduled change can ease your child into different schedules.
Buy a kitchen timer to take outside when you want him or her to come in after 15 minutes—or play a CD and tell her she needs to complete her chores by the time it ends. You can teach a child to brush teeth the right length of time by humming the ABCs or the Happy Birthday song. Play beat the clock by trying to finish a chore before a particular song ends. Sweep the floor to the rhythm of a song. [11] X Research source Organize Your ADD/ADHD Child: A Practical Guide For Parents by Cheryl R. Carter (2011).
Consider color-coded storage cubes and wall hooks as well as open shelves. Use picture or word labels to remind them what goes where. [12] X Research source Putting On The Brakes: Young People’s Guide to Understanding Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) by Patricia O. Quinn & Judith M. Stern (1991). [13] X Research source Taking Charge of ADHD: The Complete, Authoritative Guide For Parents by Russell A. Barkley (2005). Label storage tubs with corresponding pictures. Have separate storage tubs for different toys (dolls in the yellow bucket with a picture of Barbie taped on it, My Little Pony toys in the green bucket with the horse picture attached, etc. ). Separate clothing so that socks have their own drawer and there’s a picture of a sock on it, and so on. [14] X Research source Putting On The Brakes: Young People’s Guide to Understanding Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) by Patricia O. Quinn & Judith M. Stern (1991). [15] X Research source Taking Charge of ADHD: The Complete, Authoritative Guide For Parents by Russell A. Barkley (2005). Keep a box or a storage bin in a central location of the home where you can pile your child’s toys, gloves, papers, Legos, and other miscellany that tend to spread all over the place. It will be easier for the child with ADHD to empty that bucket than to be told to pick up all her things from the living room. [16] X Research source Putting On The Brakes: Young People’s Guide to Understanding Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) by Patricia O. Quinn & Judith M. Stern (1991). You also might establish a rule that the third time you find Darth Vader in the living room unattended, he gets confiscated for a week—or that if the bucket gets full, a lid will be put on it and it’ll vanish for a while with all those special treasures inside.
For some students, success will be obtained relatively easily by establishing consistent schedules, routines, and homework communication methods as well as utilizing effective organizational tools such as planners, color-coded binders, and checklists. Being on the same page with your teacher can remove the “teacher said differently” excuse.
If the teacher(s) can’t or won’t commit to initialing the planner every day, ask the teacher to help find a responsible student—a homework buddy [18] X Research source Why Is My Child’s ADHD Not Better Yet? Recognizing The Undiagnosed Secondary Conditions That May Be Affecting Your Child’s Treatment by David Gottlieb, Thomas Shoaf, and Risa Graff (2006). —to check the planner before dismissal each afternoon. If your child is struggling to remember assignments, check your child’s homework box in the planner every day as the first thing when you get home. If your kid remembered to write down the homework assignment, give your kid praise.
Every day the planner comes home, make sure to give your child praise. Then make sure the planner back into the backpack every morning before school. Arrange for the homework buddy to give morning reminders to turn in the homework, too. Reward your child for trying and struggling to do the right thing, even when he or she fails. This teaches your child that work ethic, despite failing, is a good skill to have.
Be sure homework doesn’t start the second your child walks in the door. Let him or her get rid of excess energy riding a bike or climbing trees for 20 minutes, or let her/him chatter and get that excess talking out of his system before telling him/her to do seatwork. Try to avoid allowing your kid to stall or put off work. Some kids use diversion techniques like asking for snacks, going to the bathroom, or complaining of tiredness and needing a nap. While these are all completely valid and normal things for a kid to ask for, try to notice when your kid is really trying to avoid work.
Provide a brain-food snack such as peanuts as you review the assignments. It is particularly important that you communicate with the teacher about what a good homework assignment looks like, and what doing the homework well looks like. You don’t want to teach your child something that contradicts the teacher’s methods or rules, even if just for consistency and structure.
Some teachers will allow students to have a “home set” of textbooks. [23] X Research source Why Is My Child’s ADHD Not Better Yet? Recognizing The Undiagnosed Secondary Conditions That May Be Affecting Your Child’s Treatment by David Gottlieb, Thomas Shoaf, and Risa Graff (2006). This might be a recommendation for inclusion on an IEP as well. Consider having a list of items your child should leave home with near the door. Check this list every day before your child leaves for school. It is tempting for you to control and remember everything, even if your child is supposed to be responsible for it. However, your child not only needs his or her textbooks to do homework, but also needs to remember his or her textbooks to learn responsibility and how to follow a schedule. If applicable, try using online books or sources and post the passwords somewhere in the house. Some find using the computer for homework and reading more comfortable.
Encourage your child to participate in peer interactions like scouting activities, sports teams, and dance. Find an organization which will allow you and your child to volunteer together, such as a local food pantry. Host parties and encourage attendance at parties that will help your child to live as normal a life as possible. If your child is invited to a birthday party, have a frank discussion with the hosting parents and explain that you need to attend to act as an anchor—and disciplinarian, as necessary. They will appreciate your candor and your child will benefit from the experience.
If your child does not want to role play with you, ask a therapist or other trusted adult. When role-playing, explicitly identify skills and techniques for navigating the situation. Write them down and discuss why they are useful.
This request should be made in writing. [27] X Research source The Everything Parent’s Guide to Children With ADD/ADHD: A Reassuring Guide to Getting The Right Diagnosis, Understanding Treatments, And Helping Your Child Focus by Linda Sonna (2005). Assistance can take various forms from minor accommodations (such as extra time for taking tests) to self-contained classrooms with teachers and aides who are specially trained to deal with children who exhibit behavioral disruptions. [28] X Research source The Everything Parent’s Guide to Children With ADD/ADHD: A Reassuring Guide to Getting The Right Diagnosis, Understanding Treatments, And Helping Your Child Focus by Linda Sonna (2005). Once qualified, a child with ADHD may have access to other school-based services, as well, such as riding home in a smaller bus with extra staff who supervise students more closely than a lone driver is able to do. Beware the school that tells you ADHD is not a qualifying disability! It is true that ADHD is not listed as one of the 13 disability categories in the language of the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA), but category 9 is “other health impairment,” which is later defined as “… chronic or acute health problems such as asthma, attention deficit disorder or attention deficit hyperactivity disorder… which adversely affect a child’s educational performance. ”
In the United States, you must provide documentation of your child’s ADHD diagnosis in order to get an IEP. Complete a special education evaluation that shows the child’s disability is interfering with his or her education. Then, the school will ask you to participate in an IEP conference. If you live outside the United States, contact your local school board to ask about special services. The school is required to invite parents to regular IEP conferences to evaluate the progress of the child and the effectiveness of the plan. Then adjustments can be made as needed. The school is legally bound to follow the guidelines laid down in the IEP. Teachers who fail to follow the IEP can be held liable. Be sure that the IEP is specific to your child and that your input is included in the form. Do not sign a completed IEP until you have reviewed it and added your input. [30] X Research source Once a child has an initial IEP, it becomes easier to establish special education services when changing schools or transferring to a new school district.
A 504 plan will usually be one or two pages that list your child’s learning differences and the services provided to assist them. Unlike an IEP, goals and adjustments for after high school will not be included.
Instead of serving dessert at the end of dinner, serve it after the table is cleared and dishwasher loaded. Afternoon snacks will hit the table after the trash is taken out. Beds must be made before going outside to play. The family pet must be fed before humans have breakfast.
Loading the dishwasher: First load all the plates on the bottom. (“Great job!”). Now load all glasses on the top. (“Excellent!”). Next is silverware … Laundry: First find all the pants and put them into a stack here. (“Awesome!”) Now put shirts in a stack there. (“Super-duper!”). Socks … then have the child fold each stack, then put the stacks in his or her room, one stack at a time.
Belt out instructions in a variety of silly voices or have puppets give orders. Walk backward when checking progress and make back-up “beeps. ” Have your child dress like Cinderella on a chore morning and play music from the movie that she can sing to as she works. [35] X Research source Organize Your ADD/ADHD Child: A Practical Guide For Parents by Cheryl R. Carter (2011). Keep an eye on your child’s attitude. If you sense he or she is getting frazzled, make the next chore super silly or assign movement to it. Say to your child, “Pretend you are a shark as you put this book on my desk. ” Or, simply call for a cookie break. [36] X Research source Putting On The Brakes: Young People’s Guide to Understanding Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) by Patricia O. Quinn & Judith M. Stern (1991).
Your child should know the rules and the consequences for breaking the rules. The consequence should happen the same every time the rule is broken. In addition, the consequence should apply whether the misbehavior happens at home or in public. It’s crucial that all caretakers are on board, disciplining the same way. [39] X Research source Dr. Larry’s Silver’s Advice to Parents on ADHD by Larry N. Silver (1999). When one person is a weak link amongst the adults in the child’s sphere, that weakness will be exploited every time. He or she will “shop for a better answer” or play the “divide and conquer” game. Be sure that the babysitter, daycare or after-school provider, grandparents, and other adults who have charge of your child are on board with your desire for consequences that are consistent, immediate, and powerful.
We tend to monitor our speed to avoid a $200 ticket plus higher insurance premiums. The same applies to children with ADHD. The consequence needs to be powerful enough to act as a deterrent. [43] X Research source Dr. Larry’s Silver’s Advice to Parents on ADHD by Larry N. Silver (1999). [44] X Research source Taking Charge of ADHD: The Complete, Authoritative Guide For Parents by Russell A. Barkley (2005). Be powerful, but fair. Sometimes, you can ask your child what he or she thinks is fair to get a gauge on what a powerful consequence might be.
If you need time to calm down but also need an immediate consequence, you can tell your child, “I am so upset with you, that I cannot talk about the consequence of your action right now. We will discuss it tomorrow, but believe that you are in trouble as of now. ” Say this in a calm and factual tone, not a threatening tone. Recognize the importance of emotions, while not being emotional. There is a fine line between acknowledging the influence of emotions and feelings on our love for our children, and letting those emotions control the important decisions we make to care for our children. Create mechanisms for yourself to calm down and handle your own emotions before responding to the situation emotionally.
If your child is persistent in the moment, you can respond with, “If you care enough about it, we can have a discussion about changing the rules later this weekend. But right now, we’re going to follow the rules that we decided on earlier. "
If your child is not acknowledging the authority of your rules, maybe change your rules up. In a calmer, different setting, ask your child what he or she thinks would be fair rules. See if you can negotiate any compromises so that your child follows the rules more, and you are both happier with the outcome.
Choose a designated spot in your house where your child will stand or sit quietly. This should be a place where he or she cannot see the television or otherwise be distracted. Designate an amount of time to remain quietly in place, self-calming (usually not more than one minute per age of the child). As the system becomes more comfortable, the child might remain in place simply until he or she has achieved a calm state. Then ask permission to come talk it over. The key is to allow the child time and quiet; give praise for a job well-done. Don’t think of timeout as a punishment; consider it a reboot.
Help your child develop cause-and-effect and problem-solving skills by troubleshooting possible problems together. [55] X Research source Why Is My Child’s ADHD Not Better Yet? Recognizing The Undiagnosed Secondary Conditions That May Be Affecting Your Child’s Treatment by David Gottlieb, Thomas Shoaf, and Risa Graff (2006). Make it a habit to think about and discuss possible pitfalls with your child before going to dinner, the grocery, a movie, church, or other public places. [56] X Research source Taking Charge of ADHD: The Complete, Authoritative Guide For Parents by Russell A. Barkley (2005). Before leaving, have your child repeat aloud what was decided regarding rewards for behaving and the consequence for misbehaving. [57] X Research source Taking Charge of ADHD: The Complete, Authoritative Guide For Parents by Russell A. Barkley (2005). Then if you see your child struggling with behavior at that venue, you can ask him or her to repeat the agreed upon reward to be earned or consequence to be administered; it might be just enough to get you through!
Praise your child for struggling and trying to do something good, rather than for success at anything.
For instance, instead of admonishing, “Don’t interrupt!” the rule can be reminded as “Wait your turn,” or “Allow your sister to finish what she was saying. ” It might take practice to flip those negatives from “Don’t talk with your mouth full!” to “Finish what’s in your mouth before sharing. ” But work to make it a habit.
There’s an adage about a donkey moving faster for a carrot (reward) than a stick (punishment). Are you having trouble getting your child to bed on time? You can offer a stick (“Be ready for bed by 8 p. m. or else …. ”) or you can find a carrot: “If you are ready for bed by 7:45 p. m. , you can have 15 minutes to …” Buy a little bucket and stock it with “carrots. ” These can be little rewards you can dole out when your child complies with a directive or behaves appropriately. Get a roll of stickers, a bag of 20 plastic army guys at a dollar store or a sack of 12 sparkly rings from the birthday party aisle. Get creative and add homemade coupons good for a popsicle, 10 minutes on the computer, playing a game on Mom’s phone, getting to stay up 15 minutes later, getting a bubble bath instead of taking a shower, etc. In time you can cut back to intermittent tangible rewards. [60] X Research source Organize Your ADD/ADHD Child: A Practical Guide For Parents by Cheryl R. Carter (2011). Instead, use verbal praise, hugs, and high-fives that allow you to continue a high degree of positive input[61] X Research source Taking Charge of ADHD: The Complete, Authoritative Guide For Parents by Russell A. Barkley (2005). that will motivate your child to behave while building his or her self-esteem.
Compliance earns points and non-compliance loses points. Record these points on a sheet or poster that is accessible to the child. Design your schedule considering the unique aspects of the ADHD brain. Making a more successful schedule increases your child’s opportunity for praise and self-esteem. Make a checklist[63] X Research source Why Is My Child’s ADHD Not Better Yet? Recognizing The Undiagnosed Secondary Conditions That May Be Affecting Your Child’s Treatment by David Gottlieb, Thomas Shoaf, and Risa Graff (2006). built around the child’s schedule,[64] X Research source Organize Your ADD/ADHD Child: A Practical Guide For Parents by Cheryl R. Carter (2011). showing the deadlines for completing tasks. [65] X Research source Taking Charge of ADHD: The Complete, Authoritative Guide For Parents by Russell A. Barkley (2005). Choose possible rewards that will motivate your child. This system also serves to externalize those motivations. [66] X Research source ADHD and the Nature of Self-Control by Russell A. Barkley (1997).
Ask your doctor about any conflicts that could negatively impact your ADHD medication. The pediatrician can also suggest recommended dosages of various supplements and warn of possible side effects. For instance, melatonin may improve sleep in persons with ADHD, but it might also induce vivid dreaming which may be unpleasant.
Experts recommend a complex-carb diet to boost serotonin for improved mood, sleep, and appetite. [67] X Research source Fight Back With Food by Tana Amen, R. N. in ADDitude Magazine (Winter 2014). Skip simple carbs (anything with added sugar, fruit juice, honey, jelly, candy, soda) [68] X Research source that cause a temporary serotonin spike. [69] X Research source Fight Back With Food by Tana Amen, R. N. in ADDitude Magazine (Winter 2014). Instead, choose complex carbohydrates such as whole grains, green vegetables, starchy vegetables, and beans. [70] X Research source Fight Back With Food by Tana Amen, R. N. in ADDitude Magazine (Winter 2014). These all are digested more slowly, and sugars are “time-released” into your child’s bloodstream. [71] X Trustworthy Source Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Main public health institute for the US, run by the Dept. of Health and Human Services Go to source
Proteins include meat, fish, and nuts, as well as several foods that double as complex carbs: legumes and beans. [73] X Trustworthy Source Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Main public health institute for the US, run by the Dept. of Health and Human Services Go to source Chicken, canned tuna, eggs, and beans are all great examples of protein sources that are usually cheap and affordable in the United States.
Hyperactivity is treated successfully with stimulant medication because the brain circuitry being stimulated is responsible for controlling impulsivity and improving focus. [80] X Trustworthy Source National Institute of Mental Health Informational website from U. S. government focused on the understanding and treatment of mental illness. Go to source Stimulants (Ritalin, Concerta, and Adderall) help regulate neurotransmitters (norepinephrine and dopamine). [81] X Research source On Their Own: Creating an Independent Future for Your Child With Learning Disabilities and ADHD by Anne Ford (2007). These medications can be short-acting or longer-acting. This means that the effects of the medication can last a short period of time, which can be useful for individuals who can manage their ADHD most of the time, or some medications can last throughout the day. [82] X Research source Non-stimulants boost norepinephrine, a chemical in the brain that seems to help with attention span. [83] X Research source These types of medications are longer-lasting as well.
Your child’s psychiatrist or pediatrician may also add a prescription to improve sleeping such as clonidine[84] X Trustworthy Source National Institute of Mental Health Informational website from U. S. government focused on the understanding and treatment of mental illness. Go to source or melatonin. For children ages 4-5, the primary treatment approach recommended is behavioral modification and parent training, with the option to use methylphenidate if behavioral techniques do not fully manage symptoms. [85] X Research source Combination of behavioral therapy is recommended along with medication for all age groups[86] X Research source
Some of the side effects are more worrisome than others. For instance, youth taking atomoxetine must be monitored closely for the potential of having suicidal thoughts. [87] X Trustworthy Source National Institute of Mental Health Informational website from U. S. government focused on the understanding and treatment of mental illness. Go to source Some side effects for guanfacine include sleepiness, headache, and irritability. [88] X Research source
For example, many medications can be taken in an extended-release format, which eliminates the need to deal with dosing at school. [89] X Trustworthy Source National Institute of Mental Health Informational website from U. S. government focused on the understanding and treatment of mental illness. Go to source Some individuals decline regular usage of medication, taking it only in situations when they need the medication. In these cases, individuals want a fast-acting version. For older children who learn to compensate for their ADHD challenges, medication may become unnecessary or be reserved for using during special occasions, such as when taking college entrance exams or finals.
